One more day to go! Yippee!! In the past month, what have I learned?
Well, to be honest, last month was crazy. I had a job, and I didn't have it. I disappointed a lot of people including my family and friends. I made many mistakes. I had the worst presentation, and I was a mess.
Then I realized that I’m the one who got myself in the mess in the first place. I made mistakes, and I can say, I’ve learned from some of them. Others, not so much. I let my ego affect everything. And I was being a complete douche.
Most of the things that I do, I do because I somehow can’t learn to say no. I can’t learn to give up. Sometimes, I’m too ambitious, and I have this “kick ass” attitude (literally) and it gets me in trouble.
Blogging had helped me so much. As I go through my archives, I realized how stubborn I’ve become. I was so free before. What’s making me tied up now? I’m becoming more mature, and I’m afraid. Afraid that I’m gonna end up like everyone else. Grumpy and Sad and Serious. I wanna be fun, I wanna be carefree, I want to enjoy life, and right now, I’m being snobby and I’m losing the girl in me. I don’t want to jump into adulthood so soon, but since I am legal and stuff, I’ve started losing myself.
I donno how to be an adult, so I’m like all rude and “Wayne-like” now. I’m in my sleep mode, and I need to wake up. This reality check is lasting too long.
Well, that’s pretty much my life right now. I wanna be so many things, but I can’t. I’m confused. I’m trapped in a box, and I need to get out. I need to burst this bubble. I need my pin.
Do you ever feel that you are trapped, when all you wanna do is fly?