Sunday, October 24, 2010

Day 29

DSCN3468

One more day to go! Yippee!! In the past month, what have I learned?

Well, to be honest, last month was crazy. I had a job, and I didn't have it. I disappointed a lot of people including my family and friends. I made many mistakes. I had the worst presentation, and I was a mess.

Then I realized that I’m the one who got myself in the mess in the first place. I made mistakes, and I can say, I’ve learned from some of them. Others, not so much. I let my ego affect everything. And I was being a complete douche.

Most of the things that I do, I do because I somehow can’t learn to say no. I can’t learn to give up. Sometimes, I’m too ambitious, and I have this “kick ass” attitude (literally) and it gets me in trouble.

Blogging had helped me so much. As I go through my archives, I realized how stubborn I’ve become. I was so free before. What’s making me tied up now? I’m becoming more mature, and I’m afraid. Afraid that I’m gonna end up like everyone else. Grumpy and Sad and Serious. I wanna be fun, I wanna be carefree, I want to enjoy life, and right now, I’m being snobby and I’m losing the girl in me. I don’t want to jump into adulthood so soon, but since I am legal and stuff, I’ve started losing myself.

I donno how to be an adult, so I’m like all rude and “Wayne-like” now. I’m in my sleep mode, and I need to wake up. This reality check is lasting too long.

Well, that’s pretty much my life right now. I wanna be so many things, but I can’t. I’m confused. I’m trapped in a box, and I need to get out. I need to burst this bubble. I need my pin.

Do you ever feel that you are trapped, when all you wanna do is fly?

8 comments:

  1. grt that u learn from mistake and saying no is a very hard thing for me too ehh .. and about ur life being grumpy, sad and seriusly ..i think u can not let that happen by not taking everything too seriusly .. i mean is tryna do the best among all of ur ambitions and stick to the rest when u actully hav time .. rather than trapped in between of everything !! And u dun hav to act like an adult if u actually dun wish to though ur in adult hood now .. like so work but at times u dun work ,u can be the fun shaha .. tht might work and gudluck with life =) hope everything gets into place

    ReplyDelete
  2. well sometimes we just feel kinda so ..when life gets a little messy dat happens .. once i sort everything out ... things get better .. what i learn from all dat is ... nt to keep things getting due ... plus a good nites sleep will do great ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. dhona:
    yeah, I guess. Thanks for the advice. It was great.

    ne3:
    hmm. haha. Sleep ALWAYS helps. =D

    ReplyDelete
  4. well get that pin and burst out already!
    everything happens when you put an effort, no matter how much u fail, try again. there's no harm in failing, its a gain cuz then you'll know not to repeat ur mistakes! :)
    goodluck!

    ReplyDelete
  5. everything comes in phases!
    don't worry!

    ReplyDelete
  6. ieccco:
    hah. thanks.

    Mini:
    True that! Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  7. iecco and mini said what i wanted to say. so just want to wish you luck now! hope everything falls into place soon!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Naina: It's pretty much fine now. thanks

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I try to reply to every comment personally. Have a good day!