Day 17: One day I'll make you proud

Something that I'm always proud of huh. There are a lot of things. The general will be being a Muslim, Maldivian, daughter, blah blah, But let's just skip through them and chose one small thing eh. 

That would be being traditional. Not in the sense of going all "boadhaa" on people, but more along the lines of loving traditions, classics, and stuff. In the time of technology and all the benefits, I cannot seem to let go of pen and paper. I'm a proud owner of a Filofax, which I have always wanted. I'm a proud book-a-holic and I'll happily choose a paperback over an e-book any day (except it it's as heavy as three bricks) and I am a proud country music lover. haha. Ok, the last may not as well be traditional. But there's just something magical about country music.

I wrote this around two days ago. For some reason I could not publish it, so here goes. I am thinking of taking a break from blogging. Clear my mind, go to a therapist , solve a crime, meet the Doctor or just drink way too much tea till I become British. So long fellow readers. 

Day 16: But what if you're wrong?

Something that I always think "what if" about eh. This one's very easy but very scary. I often think what if we consume everything and there's nothing left. No trees, no Eco system, no nothing. We eat up every remaining food, we wear every remaining cloth and we use every remaining scarce resource of this mother nature to make something that will bring us money. 

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What if indeed.

This thought scares me so much. I'm always always torn when it comes to this. I ask myself, should I even journal, I mean I'm wasting a lot of paper in the sense and even if I do electronically, I'm wasting electricity and there's the whole privacy thing. I've so often gone to that dark place in my mind where I am convinced that everyone harms this world more than they give. I become a cynical death eater that just thinks I should be idle and do nothing to preserve what is left. 

Then I see that people in other countries waste so much. Perhaps I shouldn't have studied business because I know why they do what they do, but is it justified? no. Whenever I buy something, guilt overcomes and instead of that happiness from shopping, I become even more sad. -.- It's very different. Inside my mind, it's  war zone between being human and being right. Sometimes I don't even know how I get up everyday and  show up with a smile on my face. 

We really really need to think about our consumerism, the amount of waste that we produce and how if we kept an account of deposits and withdrawals of all our actions and its impact on the environment, we would be in so much deficit, all the raw materials in the world could not produce enough money to make it even. 

All I know is that I try my best, but it's not enough. It's never enough and I ask you to consider this. Think about what if everything's gone? 

Day 15: What yo name what’s yo sign?

I do not participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of my birth somehow affects my personality! However  I have to admit, some of these zodiac personality traits are very similar to mine. 

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The problem with zodiac for me is that I am not sure which sign I belong to. Most places show me as an Aquarius but some of the calenders show me as Pisces. I think I'm bit of both. I do like water, and I'm kind of OK with fishes as long as I don't have to see their sad faces. Fish faces just look so melancholy it makes me sad. 

My personality is a bit fickle. I think of myself as somewhat of a crossover between a bookwork, a fashion-holic, a country music lover and a passionate ball of yarn. The last part is not entirely true. If I were a type of sewing accessory, I'd more likely be a needle or a cross-stitch. 

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"When I think of Pisces I think of the sign of unconditional love.  In other words, you will love and accept totally and unconditionally until others prove you wrong. And even that won’t convince you right away.

The key phrase used in astrology to describe the fish is “I believe,” and that is your great gift for the world; your incredible faith and belief in life and othersPisces exist emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually. And you can live a bohemian sort of life, searching for a career in which you can really find yourselves, but you are easily discouraged, feeling despondent and unappreciated which often causes you to move on to something or someone else always searching for that safe harbor you can call home.When it comes to love you are the incurable romantic and in the right relationship this can be a fairy tale union and with the wrong relationship a nightmare because you won’t let go immediately. You are extremely accepting and forgiving but without a more discriminating nature you will attract people who will take advantage of your good heart. You believe in soul mates and you will never give up your search" from astro-counselling.com

I am a big believer in unconditional love and I do use the word believe so often because it sounds so magical and because of Peter Pan. The last part about emotional and instinctive is the most wrong thing I've read all day. I am not an emotional person. If feelings knocked on my door, I wouldn't even be home and I do not get easily discouraged. In fact, I'm so stubborn I sometimes don't even listen to myself. and about fairy tales, my friend V once told me that I would never find someone because I believed that a guy would come in a white horse to save me from the bubble of fantasy that I live in, and he is somewhat right hahaha. I am a bit forgiving, which has several times made my life all the more harder. 

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"When I think of Aquarius what comes to mind are all the friends who have been completely out there, free-spirited, rebellious and brilliant.In love and marriage, the Aquarius will need to retain their sense of individuality and freedom. Remember that for an Aquarius to fall deeply in love, they first have to be friends so don’t rush them, or think you aren't making "progress" fast enough. Also, too much togetherness can wig out the claustrophobic Aquarius, so make sure there are times alone during the relationship. Aquarians are very social, friendly, charming and outgoing and you love helping others and going on crusades for the betterment of mankind. Aquarius is a sign that is highly charismatic and you easily become the leader of your group"

I am a bit free spirited, not exactly very rebellious and brilliant is one of my favourite words and oh my god the thing about falling in love and being claustrophobic about the whole thing is so darn true. I do make friends very easily and I am extremely bossy!

Anyhow, all that mumbo jumbo aside, I think I have mixtures of all different personalities and so does other people. All I know is that I love my birthstone the Amethyst and Pluto was and always will be my favourite planet. Also, I'm rather hungry and according to my daily horoscope says that I'm standing at the edge of a major breakthrough today and that I should  focus all your attention on appreciating what's happening in the present moment. So I shall practice some spells today. Ciao. 

Day 14: She wear high heels, I wear sneakers

I tried uploading this yesterday, since I was wearing it yesterday but as you all know, I do not have a smartphone and so the whole picture thing is very difficult. I am still not convinced enough to buy one. Anyhow, here's what I was wearing yesterday. 

Coral shirt, a gift from Thutha and heart print bow belt from Primark. 

Double finger moustache from ONME, spike bracelet from Dhonthi and hijab pin from the boy. Also orange lipstick in my new favourite. 

PS, Sorry for the blurry images. It was on purpose. 

Day 13: They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair

I am not as self conscious as I think I am. For the most part, I love my body and how I look, but yes there are days when I feel otherwise. People look at me and then I keep thinking there must be something wrong with the way I look, but I tell myself that there isn't. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. 

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I am very slim, too slim some might say. This has led to people often giving me eating advice, forcing their weird eating regimen on me, asking me to drink milk and eat yogurt and stuff. Some people just don't get it. They don't know how many glasses of milk I drink, and they don't know that broccoli is my favourite vegetable, and they don't know that I rarely eat sweet stuff. I don't even want to tell them because I am done defending my eating habits. I know what they are and I am perfectly fine with it. 

I do agree though, my blood sugar is very low and only a few weeks back I had a minor setback but I've gotten better. My dad is a doctor, so at home healthy eating is so common that it's been routine. All us kids start every day with a glass of milk, and end it the same way. I am still on my way to get the body weight that I want. 

So for the most part, I am happy with how I look and I'm not one to change anything because the society/anybody wants me to. I get rather upset when people are always conscious about their body, and also about how we have this culture of calling people "fat" and making fun of it. I have a lot of friends who are healthy and they look great, but they are always saying things like "those earrings make me look double chinned" and while I do advocate people on dressing for their body, comments like this just makes me want to feed them polyjuice potion. 

So people, fat is not the worst thing a human being can be, OK? JK Rowling taught me that and I want you all to remember that no matter how you look, hating/harming your body is not an option. If you want to lose some weight, start a diet plan and if you want to gain, do the same. Don't let people impose their ideals of what YOUR body should be on you. It's your body, you are living with it, so love it cause baby you were born this way! 

Day 12: After the boys of summer have gone

Most of this list is going to fictional characters because I find men in stories attractive. That must say a lot about me. The rest are actors and musicians. Yes, I am a girl and like most girls, I like men who look good. 

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Dr Spencer Reid 

I find Matthew Gray Gubler very attractive, but I find Reid more attractive because of his obvious genius state and because he talks in a very charismatic manner. He's the main reason I watch Criminal Minds. I can go on and on about Reid, but I'll stop before you think that I'm some crazy person. 

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Andrew Garfield

His hair, oh my god! He is super freaking cool and I think I first saw him in Social Network and since then he's been in every list of men that I ever made, haha. 

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Mr. Darcy

Obviously in every reader's lists, this romantic hero! I love Pride and Prejudice and like every other girl who read it, loved his character from the start. I have yet to watch the movies though. I really want to see Colin play Darcy. 

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David Archie

His songs are as amazing as him. He is very cool and so pretty. I hardly use pretty to describe guys, but he is!

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Gerard Butler

I love love this guy. Whenever I mention him, it means it's something significant because Gerard Butler is just the most amazing thing since sliced bread. 

Yes, this list does not have any people that I know in real life because that would be too mainstream to write about. People that I find attractive, you know who you are! Also Jhonny Depp. 

Day 11: I believe family is worth more than money or gold

That is so true. Family for me is everything. They are the reason of me being here, and they have been my source of strength in everything I do and I love them dearly, maybe even more than myself. 

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They have loved me all my life, and they continue to do so, and I know that whatever they do is always in the best interest of me. Sometimes I might get angry at them, or feel like rebelling, but I know I never will. It's kinda weird that I've never really rebelled. Maybe I didn't have a good enough reason, and I hope that there never will be a good enough reason to go against my family because if such a day comes, I'll find myself torn but in the end I'll always choose my family not just because it's my duty but because without their support I'm nothing. 

The past 21 years has been interesting. We moved a bit, but we always had each other. There were tough times, but they would never let me feel that way. I was always protected. Whenever I did anything wrong, I was always corrected, punished but in ways that I understood. I owe everything to them. 

So, basically for me, I am because my family is. My parents are amazing and have never given me reason to believe otherwise. The two sisters are like the cherry on top, kinda weird but cheesy and cute. 

Day 10: and I listen to the kind of music she doesn't like

Ah, I remember doing this several times, keeping my playlist on shuffle and writing down the first ten songs, haha. Let's see.

Jump Then Fall by Tay
I wouldn't be surprised if the next 9 songs turn out to be Tay songs because half my playlist is all her. I love all her songs. This one's kinda nice too, I haven't really heard this so many times.

Humuhumunukunukua'Puaa from HSM 3
hahaha, I can't believe I still have this song. It's kind of cute about a pineapple princess named Tiki and a fish named Humumunukunukuapuaa.

Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia
I used to sing this song in my head all day long a few weeks back. It was my "grace song".

I Wanna Know You by Miles ft Archie
This is one of my favourite songs sung by two of my favourite people. I loved when Archie made a cameo appearance and asked about onion breath, haha. typical him.

Work of Art by Rachel Platten
Loved this song ever since I heard it the first time I watched Jane by Design (hello theme song) and so I found it and have been playing it ever since.

Daylight by Maroon 5
I have a new-found love for Maroon 5, and I love love this song, especially the fans video. It's such an enlightening, beautiful song.

Jaane Nehin Denge from 3 Idiots
Love love this song, so sad yet so meaningful and amazing.

The Wind by Zac Brown Band
Another of my favourite country bands. This is the first time I'm hearing and I already loved it. It's very summery and breezy and fun.

Come & Get It by Sel
Not a big fan of this song. I used to love Sel during Round and Round and Who Says, not it's just getting weird.

Silk by Giselle
I heard this in a littl clipd about a fun balloon company and had to google the song and get it because it was so pretty. The lyrics are so beautiful and romantic and mesmerizing. I'm a fan.

So, what's in your playlist?

Day 9: Who needs to read and write when you can dance and sing

Everyone needs to learn to read and write despite their dancing and singing skills. I for one, believe education is one of the most important things and it's education that betters a nation. 

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Education is what separates us from everything else. We are because we know. We learn. If we didn't know, what different would we be from the animals? 

I have always loved knowing, learning  finding out new things. Education gives people the knowledge to choose for themselves what's better. It build generations, it makes technology possible. 

I am all for Education and so are my parents. They started sending me to school when I was barely 1 1/2. Apparently I learnt to read the and started reading everything from notices to random people's love letters. All my life I've been learning and I hope to continue doing so. 

So, basically education rocks!