Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Forever 21

At times you just realize how completely insane everything is. You have a degree and a job and you can't even comprehend how the years has gone by since you used to play outside and get soaked in the rain. So much expectations, so much emotional baggage. You want to reminisce your teenage years but the time you get back from work, all daylight has gone and it's all black. Your friends have big jobs and those lunches that you promised you'll have when you get jobs are long forgotten. 

There are bills to pay, chores to do. Everyday becomes a struggle for survival of the fittest. You can no longer take pride in your good grades because people who are younger than you have better grades and you try being happy for them but instead you just find yourself sitting there being mundane. 

Life is not that happy exciting thing you imaged. Growing up is not the same, and you just wish you could go back in time and hide in the rose bushes and catch raindrops on your tongue. You keep wishing that people won't talk about you behind your back, that you don't have to explain your actions and words, but you do. 

Sometimes you just stare at clouds and you feel happy but then you are reminded of the responsibility you have. The friendships you have to maintain, family fiasco's, and your phone constantly keeps on ringing, making you deal with work and things when all you want is just to curl up with a book.Your whole life becomes a routine of actions and days pass by.

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You have to explain things to people, your arguments make no sense, and you are questioned at every point in your life. You can't just go crazy because you are an adult and you are expected to behave a certain way. Your beliefs are somehow not as important as other people's and you are called selfish. You try to do good things, you try to be that person that your fifteen year old self wanted but little did she know that life at 21 is not all cupcakes and tiaras. 

People make you feel inferior, they judge your shoes and rings and point their finger at you and tell that you are wrong. You get called a liar and your taste in music is called outdated. Your pen and paper are mocked with their iPhones and iPads. Every thing you do, people ask you if there's a point to it. 

But despite all this, there are good times. Your parents are amazing and you find chocolate fudge in your fridge and even thought you'll regret eating it later, it just makes all problems fade away for a little while. Those few friends who do care make time for you and doesn't judge you no matter how selfish you may be. You are forgiven for the small mistakes you make and people at work are really nice and having breakfast together makes every morning pleasant. Your sisters lend you money when you become bankrupt in Monopoly and your dentist doesn't scare you anymore. Your little sister lets you use her tablet so you can read e-books before you go to sleep. Maybe being 21 is not so bad after all. 

2 comments:

  1. Ahh, 21! It's been a few years since I was 21 but truth be told, I still feel as young. Maybe even younger than that :)
    It's true what they say, you know. Don't grow up. It's a trap. Yet inevitable, huh? LOL.
    Don't worry. Mostly it's only as bad as you make it. Live young and you should remain so :)

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    Replies
    1. haha, it is indeed a trap eh. Thanks.

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