Monday, March 21, 2016

To All the Misogynists I Know (and don't)

Dear all the misogynists I know who are men, 

I hope you're doing well. I hope you are blessed with good food, a caring family and friends because no matter what your beliefs are, you deserve good things, like all human beings. 

Firstly, I can't comprehend how you think women are beneath you when you came out of your mother, a woman who deserves the highest of respect. The mother upon whose feet heaven lies. How is it possible for you to think she's lesser than you or that she does not deserve respect? 

Secondly, did you choose to be a man? No. Did any of the women choose to be women? No. None of this was in our hands, we only live with what we are and so how dare you think that you're better because of some privilege that you didn't even earn? You don't need to think of us as your sisters or mothers to be able to respect us. Why is that we have to walk with our brothers, fathers, or male friends to get you to stop harassing us? 

And you expect to marry a woman. I find that quite funny because you think you are god's gift to women when we deserve to marry someone who respects us and thinks us more than childbearing machines. You don't need a woman, you need a robot. 

You use religion selectively when it benefits you. You justify harassment, rape, violence against women on the account that they were not properly dressed, that they didn't partake in religious activities, or any other reason you could use to try and blame it on anyone but yourself. Your definition of Islam I'm afraid is very different because my Islam teaches me to be humble and kind, to live peacefully and devote my life to good, to pray and recite Quran among others; not to belittle women or to blame them all that is wrong with the world

I am so sorry you weren't brought up to respect woman. I'm sorry your household or part of the society that you grew in didn't teach you to be a wonderful human being. I'm sorry you still fit into "boys will be boys" stamp and you didn't have strong women and men around as examples of how a collaborative and happy family is. I so wish you could have had a childhood where your mother and father took part in household chores, where you father loved and respected your mother and where you and your sisters were given equal standing and taught to be respectful to each other. I wish you could have experienced how absolutely amazing it is to be brought up to respect people of all genders and to see the best in people, not to belittle them. 

I hope you never become a father to a girl, because I fear for her life, for what she would have to go through not only on the streets, but also at home. I hope your daughter never finds out all the terrible things you say about women or what you really think of them. I hope your daughter finds it in her heart to forgive you even when you never apologize. 

You can still change. It's never too late for you. You have it in you, you always had. I pray that Allah bestows you with the clarity and knowledge to know you're capable of being so much more than what you're today. That YOU could change a cycle of vicious hate and smash the patriarchy, that you could let women into your life without feeling emasculated, that you could experience what it feels to think of women as human beings. 

I will pray for you. 

Dear all the misogynists I know who are women, 

Just because in your mind you can distance yourselves from the "other women" and hate them because you think you're more pious, or good than them doesn't mean that's the reality. Neither does it give you any place to judge them.

Maybe it's easier to just see other women as the enemy because it makes you feel better on the inside, that hey at least its not you getting hit on, or not you getting victimized but do you realize how harmful that is? How can you possibly hate your own gender? How do you justify this? Please enlighten me because I can't seem to wrap my brain around the fact that you think it's okay for women to get harassed or feel they deserve less pay for the same job as a man.

I know you get up when a man enters a room, because you feel like you have to. I know you wash the dirty coffee cups that men leave in the sink and think nothing of it. I know you look at women in tight clothing and say she is asking for it. I know you actually think she's asking for it. I know you justify it by saying you won't ever.

You know how it feels. You know what people of our gender has gone through, even though you may not have had to live through it. How could you be a woman and still not get it.

I'm sorry you didn't have empowering women role models in your life to teach you the value of women. I'm sorry you didn't learn it despite being a woman yourself. I'm sorry you were somehow brought to hate other people of your gender. I can't imagine how you can hold do much injustice inside of you.

I will pray for you. 

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