On Life List and More

I was going through my life list and realized that it no longer resonates with who I am now. I've been changing it constantly to reflect my current interests and seeing how much I grow through the things I've wanted before. It's interesting to see the changes. 

At a lookout near Augusta, WA

For instance, when I made the list first, a ton of it was from other people's lists and I've added things just because I thought they were cool (I suppose even now, I'm adding things that I think are cool to the current version of me), but a lot of it was just materialistic things like owning a Chanel lipstick as if it's the height of accomplishment. Sure now, I might prefer an Esterbrook over Chanel but isn't that still slightly shallow, somewhat snobby? I have zero room to judge my old self. 

It's also so great to see how far I've come! So many things that I thought wouldn't happen has happened, and so much that I had done without even thinking about it. How interesting that we achiave so much and don't really notice? I had written down to "work in a bookstore" because it's been a constant dream and now it's something I've done for a few years, being a bookshop girl not just anywhere but in a secondhand bookshop in Australia! When I wrote that, never in my dreams would I have thought it would happen this way. Allah's plan is always always better than we could ever think of. 

At some point, my priorities changed, my interests changed eventhough a large chunk of it is still as it was; I am a creature of habit if anything. Seeing excatly what things changed and for how, the kind of growth I am proud of, is fantastic. I've removed so much of the "branded" things category because I no longer care about owning a Marc Jacobs bag. I can't even remember if I really wanted one or maybe I just liked the idea of being a person who owned one. Some remain, becaue I owe it to my old self to give her something she wanted - anyting from Tiffany's. A mix of classic movie magic and good old marketing, I know I was obsessed with Tiffany's and tho current me doesn't care much for it, it's a worthy once in a timelife - albeit a very expensive- goal. Not as a success means fancy expensive jewelry, but success means being able to have something young me thought success was, and getting over it. 

Perth city from a distance

Several of the things just do not align with my current worldview and I'd like to think that my values right now are something that's adhered closely to religion, morality, and the who I am now. Who I was before, I will cherish for if I wasn't her, I would not be me today and perhaps she will never understand the choices I make now. Celebrity culture was something I was heavily adorning on my person, being a fangirl a full time job. I no longer see myself as a fangirl of a particular person. Perhaps you knew me as a swiftie, which was the longest I spent being enamoured by someone. Even as I was fangirling over others, the obsession tho once wavered a little, never fully left until a few years ago. 

I've left spaces in between because I know I'll think of more things to add, more things I want to do because I'm always on the hunt for things to do. For now, they're empty so I can add things when I think of them, because there's room to grow, for a version of future me, who will undoubtedly think current me knew nothing ahaha. 

If any lessons are to be learnt from this, it is that you're always a work in progress, always able to change, do not let your old self, or anyone else stop you from being who you want to be now.